The Pant Problem

Now, before I start let me clarify that by "pants" I mean trousers - not "pants" as the Brits use the word which refers to panties.

So I finally decided I need to go shopping. I have one pair of jeans that fit me and even those are low waisted so every time I sit you can see the unattractive part of my bum. I knew it was time when my husband asked me "Are these jeans meant to cover only your legs?" . On top of it I had a $150 gift voucher to the Bay and with our trip to India next week - I desperately needed something to cover up the body.

I really HATE shopping for clothes. I do not understand how people have the energy to shop for them. I mean, you walk around the store looking at stuff that looks great on the hanger, then you carry a pile of them to the dressing room, where you have to undress all your layers and try each one of these items individually. After all this pain, more than 99% of the stuff I try on looks horrible or fits not quite right or is just uncomfortable. You then deal with the disappointment, wear all those layers again and have to carry the pile out to the customer service desk where the attendant looks at you with a look that says "I could have told you this wouldn't look good - look at all the work I have now".

I really admire people like Gaby who seem to get energized by shopping. This woman can spend the whole day (8 hours literally) in the mall trying on about 300 outfits only to buy a T-shirt at the end, and still be happy. Or even Sexy T in London, who just goes to a store, picks a couple of things off the rack and they both look amazing. I've got some of my best purchases with her.

Not all forms of shopping are bad. I love to buy shoes. Anything for the kitchen I thoroughly enjoy (I once spent 4 hours looking at different kinds of Tupperware). I can even manage to buy jackets and things for the top half of my body with some ease. What I dread shopping for are
a) Pants
b) Bras
These are probably the most challenging things in the world to find. I simply do not have a body like a mannequin. I'm blessed with a petite build, chests the size of a 12 year old, a bum that is wide but not sticking out like J-Lo, and a tummy that is left over from the pregnancy. On the top half of my body I can wear kids clothes (I don't know if that is a compliment but it's cheaper and they have nicer colors) , it's on the bottom that the task gets complicated.

If I want a good fit, I need to go with Petite (which limits the selection in the store to 30%) but since they think that all petites are skinny with no bum or tummy, things start to get complicated. If I want a good fit on my bum I am a size 10. If I want it to zip up and put my tummy in there as well - I'm a size 12 but with the latter size, there is that bunching of cloth at the crotch. And now that I don't want anything low waisted, I'm finding I am totally out of luck!

I dragged my husband and Baby M to the mall yesterday to assist me. On my first walk around the Petite section I found 1 pair of pants. I tried it on and it looked pretty miserable, which was only confirmed by the way my husband immediately shook his head when I came out to show him. By this time Baby M had sensed the tension inside me and started to cry. So here I was looking for a pair of pants with a reluctant husband and a crying baby! Luckily, the saleslady took pity on me and gathered up all the pants that would somehow fit me.

After trying on a couple - I bought a pair of bell-bottoms (yes!). I look about 5 inches shorter and 10 pounds heavier but they were comfortable. I will try them on tonight and most likely go back and return them and go through the whole hoopla of finding another pair of pants all over again.

Some things in life are just incredibly complicated.